Fight, Freeze, Flight or Fawn: the four Trauma responses and its effect on our nervous system

In the past, it was useful for our ancestors to respond quickly to predators and danger by escaping with a fight-or-flight action. If you think of it from an evolutionary standpoint, we had a lot more life threatening and dangerous emergencies in our cave man days.  Today, physical predatory threats are few and far between. However, the same evolutionary responses are still deeply embedded within our bodies.

When there's a situation the body deems to be unsafe, the limbic system—the part of your brain responsible for memory, emotions, and survival—acts as the basis of operations. It automatically leaps into action with largely instinctive protective measures to safeguard you.

What is a trauma response?

It is normal to have strong emotional or physical reactions following a distressing event. Some stress is normal and can be helpful in certain situations. On most occasions though, these reactions subside as a part of the body’s natural healing and recovery process. 

Although we aren’t threatened by predatory animals as in the cave man days, we use those same evolutionary tools to protect ourselves in high-stress situations. When the brain taps into these tools, we enter states of mind that are different from normal waking consciousness.

 This can be understood as the “trauma response.”

 Understanding trauma responses

 Experts generally recognize “The Four Fs” as the states that make up the trauma response – fight, flight, freeze and fawn. These four trauma responses are generally learnt as a means of survival in childhood, abusive relationships, or other severe trauma incidents. The response then reoccurs later in life as a default every time the person faces anything they perceive as a threat.

These four types of trauma responses can present in different ways for different people. Understanding the 4 types of trauma responses can help you understand your own behaviours and patterns and begin the healing process.

For example, a healthy fight response may look like having firm boundaries, while an unhealthy fight response may be explosive rage. In an ideal situation, an individual should be able to access healthy parts of all four types of trauma responses.

 Fight Trauma response

 When we tap into the fight response, we use aggression to control our emotions, our surroundings, and the people around us to protect ourselves from harm. This type of “fight” behaviour is associated with angry outbursts, rage, impulsive decision making, power, and physical aggression. 

 When ‘fight’ is used as a trauma response it works as a self-preservation function where you move reactively toward conflict with anger and aggression. It's a fear state where you confront the threat to stand up and assert yourself. 

 However, if it is used in a positive way the ‘fight’ trauma response can help you create boundaries, be assertive, find courage, lead, and protect yourself and others when necessary.

Example: Marco is fed up with his wife drinking too much, coming home drunk and upsetting the children. Instead of him exploding in anger and starting a fight when she comes homes which would only escalate the situation, he brings this up with her the next day when he is calmer. He asserts his needs and puts boundaries in place around being intoxicated around the children.

 Flight Trauma response

 When a threat is too overwhelming to defeat, the immediate response may be to run away or escape from the perceived threat. This is the flight response and corresponds with avoidant behaviour.

 This can look like running away and avoiding interactions, moving cities constantly and leaving empty trails behind, or even by staying busy and engaging in lots of activities/work to escape having to address the situation.

 When you are engaging in healthy habits, you would display caution when faced with a perceived threat and may disengage within limits. However, as a trauma response you take it further and isolate or escape immediately and entirely. You believe that if you avoid the threat and avoid conflict, you will escape the threat and not be harmed.

 Example: Nikhil’s Mother-in-Law has moved in with him and his wife, and he feels that she interferes which causes stress in his marriage. Nikhil’s Mum and Dad fought lot when he was young, and he would run away to his friend’s house to get away. Although Nikhil again wants to flee his house whenever he sees his mother-in-law, instead as a healthy flight response he goes for a jog when he is feeling overwhelmed at home and disengages from conversations with her that he thinks is unhelpful.

 Freeze Trauma response

 Though not as common as fight and flight, the freeze response is one with which many people are familiar. When we face a situation so overwhelming that neither fight nor flight can protect us, our brains enter the freeze state. This occurs as parts of your sympathetic nervous system reaches a point of overwhelm causing a neurological shutdown.

 In nature, you might recognize it when an animal plays dead when faced by a predator. When applied to people, an individual will pause or freeze instead of trying to fight the danger or run away. It’s similar to paralysis and dissociation, where we lose connection to our bodies and our senses of awareness. 

 When healthy, the freeze response can help you slow down, consider your next steps, and assess the situation carefully to determine your next move. When unhealthy, the freeze response relates to dissociation and immobilizing behaviours where you literally "freeze". You may not feel like you're there. You mentally leave what's happening in your surroundings and what you're feeling, in an attempt to find emotional safety. 

 Example: Lenny has been bullied at work, and he feels no one will listen. When he was younger his Dad used to mock him for being effeminate and he would stay quite during the abuse and allow his mind to take over and pretend he was someplace else. Now, when he is around the bully, he again lets his mind take him someplace else to a ‘safe space’ and he zones out till she goes away. A healthy way for Lenny to address this would be to keep the connection with himself during the trauma, by being mindful and present and by addressing the bullying with his manager. For Lenny is no longer the little helpless child without a voice.

 Fawn Trauma response

 Fawning involves immediately moving to people pleasing behaviour to avoid conflict and engaging in pacifying behaviour.

 This is often a response developed in childhood, where a parent or a significant authority figure demonstrated abusive behaviour ( verbal, physical, sexual etc). Children go into a fawn-like response to attempt to avoid the abuse by being a pleaser. They do this by using appeasement, giving answers to what they know the parent wants to hear, and by ignoring their personal feelings and desires and doing anything and everything to prevent the abuse.

Fawn behaviour is characterized by prioritizing others above all else, including yourself and by doing whatever is needed to diffuse conflict and receive approval.

 If you notice you are engaging in fawning behaviour, be extra compassionate with yourself as you begin to separate what feelings belong to you and what belongs to other people. A healthy fawn response include compassion for others, compromise and asking for what you need. An unhealthy fawn response however can involve in loss of self, co-dependency in relationships, little to no boundaries and staying in unhealthy relationships.

 Example: Priyanka’s boyfriend exhibits controlling behaviour including checking her phone and demanding to know where she is always. When she misses his call one day he barrages her, accusing her of being unfaithful. To make him stop, Priyanka apologises for not checking her phone consistently, admitting she was wrong and begging him to not be angry with her. This is unhealthy fawning behaviour. A healthy fawn trauma response would be to listen to why her boyfriend was upset, but assert her own needs and wants in the relationship, including not being controlled and having to answer for her movements.

If you identify with one of the 4 F trauma responses, know you aren't alone. You have been doing what was needed to survive, and it will take time to unlearn some of these behaviours. Remember to show yourself grace, kindness, and compassion.

 Whatever your past may be, counselling is a helpful tool to learn how to react and behave more constructively in different types of scenarios. Having the ability to regulate your emotions and respond to stress in a variety of healthy ways can help in many areas of life, including work, family, and relationships. For more information or to book a counselling session visit: stepaheadcounselling.com.au.